When You Chose
Song #22 - rough demo
Just finished writing a new song - #22.
I haven’t shared any raw demos until today.
I almost did when I first got on Substack, but I didn’t leave them up. This feels different.
I really like this one. It’s a rough take, just a voice memo, and there’s a small vocal slip near the end. I left it. Getting a perfect take in one go isn’t realistic, and that’s not really the point.
I imagine this song building. I hear it growing more intense as it goes.
Lately I’ve been drawn to simplicity, letting a song breathe without overworking it. This one leans into that, but it also has a darker edge. I’ve always been pulled toward songs that feel a little haunting.
Most of what I’m writing right now is somewhere between alt-country and indie rock. I’ve been picking up my electric guitar more, and this one feels right for that.
Letting go of perfection is still hard for me. I was raised to get everything right — what I did, what I said, how I looked. Sharing something this raw is hard for me.
But this is part of the work.
This song is about the ripple effect of people’s decisions, and what happens when you let those decisions shape your life for too long.
I’m trying to step out of that. To unmask. To figure out how to be myself.
Anyway — here it is.
When You Chose
First take with the vocal flub near the end
I added a version with a clean vocal and a longer bridge.
Lyrics
I don’t know if I’m awaking
still can’t see through this fog
someone else is calling
calling me back to where I was
back to where I use to be
a place and time that was free
life was simple it was easy
but you put an end to that
when you chose
I was myself
but only for a short time
life derailed when it hit
then I took the longest ever trip
I had it all in hand
but someone else’s curse it landed
smacked me down and turned me around
all because you made that error
when you chose
when you chose
now I have this chance
to make up for your choosing
this time I choose myself
because this was never my movie
I’m stepping away
heading down my own road
I’m lighting the match
and then I’m moving forward
I’m gonna choose
I’m gonna choose
I’m gonna choose
Thanks for listening. It means more than you know.
If you enjoyed this post and want to support my efforts, you can buy me a coffee. Every little bit helps me keep the album project moving forward, and I’m truly grateful.



Captivating song!! So nice
Quite a hypnotic theme. While immersed in your flow, I mentally attached som motoric drums and Farfisa's organ to it—and the result was something reminiscent of Stereolab. Obviously, this isn't the only way to arrange this song; it's just how stereotypes work :)